How readable is your proposal? Readability metrics that improve proposal qualityFebruary 8th, 2012, by Fergal

Larry Newman of Shipley posted this example of poor writing the other day. It was part of a very active discussion thread about overused clichés on the APMP linkedin group:

“To ensure optimum delivery of services for its membership, Mini Healthcare of Elbonia will leverage the administrative and legal structure of its parent company, Maxi Healthcare, Inc. to administer a cost-effective combination of local plan operations and shared corporate resources that ensure a person-centered, outcomes-focused approach to delivering managed care services.”

It was taken from a proposal he was reviewing (actual names removed). You should take a look at the entire thread; it has a lot of good stuff around clichés. As author of the Shipley proposal guide, Larry is extremely well qualified on the subject of ‘trash talk’ in proposals. (more…)

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