This quote struck me:

“If the executive requires revisions in half of the materials, the cost increases to $15,660 (from $10,400) per year. Multiply these costs by the number of executives in your company to determine the total reading cost.”

Now, consider this in the context of proposal development. As a proposal manager or writer:

• How much of your B&P (Bid and Proposal) dollars do you waste on fixing up complex writing?
• How much time do you spend editing proposal content from SMEs (Subject Matter Experts)?
• How much time editing a proposal to get it in a single voice?
• How much time simplifying overly complex sentences, restructuring and shortening whole paragraphs, removing passive voice?

If you look at your content and you have to re-read it, then you know the reviewer will have a hard time too. The value prop will likely be unclear. You may even have a hard time determining if you are compliant due to an obscured message. If you’re at ‘red team’ stage looking at complex text, it’s probably too late to fix it. That’s a bad place to be.

So, wouldn’t it be great to have very tightly written documents prior to red-team phase? And save review and editing time.

Well, one of our largest customers is using automated scans to do exactly that. They run automated readability analysis on draft docs as part of their color team process. What’s more, they have measured the cost benefits.

So, what are the actual cost savings?

The following analysis relates to a single program. I have redacted any sensitive detail. The money values are real. We received it just last week:

VisibleThread Saved $5,325 in [XXX Proposal] B&P

Without VisibleThread, it would have taken us 87 hours to manually analyze the readability, consistency, quality and compliance of the proposal documents.

The net savings were 71 hours

They continued:

Because of VisibleThread, the proposal center was also able to analyze the readability, consistency, quality and compliance of documents we would not have had time to analyze manually.

and here is how they use VisibleThread as part of their process:

• During the proposal development process, we conduct multiple Visible Thread scans on section write-ups and proposal volumes
• We immediately generate and share detailed feedback reports on individual documents with the appropriate Volume Lead for review and dissemination to the author
• The author then revises his/her content in accordance with the problems identified in the report, making it more readable, consistent, compliant, and easier to evaluate

If you are handling a reasonable flow of proposals, then the overall cost savings for a full year are very material. For instance, let’s say you submit 40 proposals (of this type) a year, the cost savings would be $213k/annum.

So as you see, investing in readability scanning is definitely something to think about.

Summary

Running periodic readability scans against the content yields two benefits:

1. Efficiency gains - since you can scan an early stage draft response in minutes and generate a report detailing required fixes, you avert the back and forth normally associated with pink and red team. In the context of the above customer, this was over $5,000 for 1 program
2. Increased compliance and pWin (probability of win) - since you force a tighter and clearer message, your value prop is easier to understand. Your differentiation is also clearer and you will likely be more compliant.

I hope the post will help you win more. Do you see the value of readability analysis?

Let us know in the comments.

============

If you want to see how we scan documents, check out these 3-minute demos to get a good sense.

Take a look at the slide deck below.

Choose Your Words Wisely - APMP Conference Atlanta 2013

Drop by our booth at the APMP’s Bid and Proposal Con to see why 4 of the top 5 US government contractors use VisibleThread.

See how to:

• Create a starter compliance matrix in under 3 minutes for any doc SOW, PWS or full RFP.

• Validate that your ‘win themes / win strategies’ and ‘technical requirements’ are met in the proposal.

• Measure the readability of your proposal, spotting wordy, difficult, or legally risky language.

• Make faster bid / no-bid / teaming decisions for best fit. Users scan multiple opportunities in minutes matching core corporate capabilities (past performance) to key customer requirements.

WHEN: 28-31 May 2013

WHERE:

The Westin Peachtree Plaza, 210 Peachtree St, Atlanta, GA, 30303

Map

TO REGISTER:

http://www.apmp.org/event/2013BPC

UPDATE:

If you drop by the VisibleThread or Privia booths at APMP Atlanta 2013 you’ll now have the chance to win a Nexus 7

In addition, this year we have a choice of one of two of our free t-shirts available at our booth.

https://iq.govwin.com/corp/events/detail.cfm?EventID=1521

Join Deltek and VisibleThread for an exclusive networking event featuring leading capture management technology experts, and learn to make smarter, more accountable, data-driven decisions.

We’ll present on the night and show you how VisibleThread can drive better bid/no-bid/teaming decisions. We’ll also analyze some sample RFP responses and show how they hide latent risk that damages your pWin.

Competition for contracts in the federal market place is intensifying. Are you using the best tools available to manage and win business? How are these new, innovative technologies enhancing your business development processes? Do not fall behind the technology curve.

Discover how market leaders are leveraging analytics to understand critical business data and glimpse key business insights to making smarter capture decisions during a special cocktail reception.

WHERE:

Deltek Corporate Headquarters, 2291 Wood Oak Drive, Herndon VA 20171

TO REGISTER:

https://iq.govwin.com/corp/events/detail.cfm?EventID=1521

Privia, the industry leader in capture, bid, and proposal management software and services, today announced a strategic partnership with VisibleThread, whose language audit software provides critical document content analysis to bid and proposal managers and government agencies.

Under the partnership, Privia will recommend VisibleThread to customers as a means of analyzing responses for clarity, creating first pass compliance matrices from both PDF or MS Word docs, and verifying that proposals address key win strategies. Additionally, VisibleThread will recommend Privia to customers looking to automate their proposal processes and workflow and augment their staff with Privia’s proposal experts.

VisibleThread analyzes proposal documents picking out complex, risky language and poor content.  It increases content review efficiency by 45% by cutting down on the amount of time proposal managers and writers spend in color team sessions. Privia customers that adopt VisibleThread will benefit from having software that has advanced content analysis capabilities, specifically with proposal efforts that include multiple volumes. VisibleThread can also create a first pass compliance matrix on any document, such as an RFP, PWS, or SOW to check for words like ‘will’, ‘shall’, or ‘must’.  This reduces the hours that capture and proposal managers put into analyzing documents for compliance requirements.

VisibleThread can now recommend to its customers involved in capture and proposal management, the opportunity to automate their proposal processes and workflow for storing, sharing, reviewing, and editing documents with the Privia product, as well as Privia’s team of proposal experts for various professional services offerings.

“As a capture or proposal manager, one of your main tasks is to make sure requirements are compliant and being met,” said Glenn Giles, President and CEO of Privia.  “VisibleThread helps capture and proposal managers maintain compliance with the highest level of efficiency while still maintaining effective process,”

“We are always looking for ways to offer more to our customers, and Privia is just that,” said Fergal McGovern, CEO of VisibleThread. “In an industry that relies so much on quick turnaround and repetition, being able to automate as many processes as possible while still maintaining integrity of work is something both of our organizations look to do. This partnership will deliver value to our mutual customer base.”

The partnership will also include several joint marketing efforts, such as webinars and in-person events.  Initially VisibleThread is a gold sponsor and will present at Achieve 2013, Privia’s annual user conference, on February 20 – 21, 2013 in Herndon, Virginia.

About VisibleThread:

VisibleThread develops document content analysis software that identifies defects and streamlines document compliance. The company’s analysis software enables users to scan MS Office and PDF docs for liability concerns, automatically create compliance documents, and provide oversight throughout proposal development.

4 of the top 5 US government contractors use VisibleThread. Capture managers, proposal response teams and legal reviewers use the solutions to identify compliance and delivery concerns. Proposal response teams improve review efficiency and increase their probability of winning government and commercial contracts. For more information, visit www.visiblethread.com.

About Privia:

Privia provides an array of products and services to help organizations streamline the entire bid, capture and proposal process—from pipeline management and reporting to teammate collaboration and proposal development. Leading organizations such as CSC, Management Concepts, Merlin International, MicroTech, Scientific Research Corporation (SRC) and USIS are streamlining processes to save time and money in areas such as bids and proposals, past performance management and contract management. Privia also offers a wide variety of professional services, including a team of proposal experts who are available to augment your proposal team.  For further information, visit www.privia.com.

Privia:
Michelle Sullivan
Director of Marketing
703-539-0229
msullivan(at)privia.com

or
VisibleThread:
Welz & Weisel Communications
Evan Weisel
703-218-3555
evan(at)w2comm.com

Yet every day, contractors kill their chances of success by doing the proposal equivalent of showing up sloppily dressed. They submit rambling exec summaries, filled with copious amounts of marketing boilerplate. They often attempt to throw in the ‘kitchen sink’.

With help from Barbara Esmedina of health care provider Conexis, we recently analyzed the exec summary from the winner and nearest loser of an RFP. The RFP was to administer a COBRA health plan for the City of Albuquerque. Both submissions achieved an almost identical compliance score (I show the scores later), but the language was radically different.

Here are the statistics for the 2 executive summaries that came in 1st and 2nd

Now here is the sloppy bit, the losing proposal’s exec summary (FMBC) was:

-          5 times the size (num. words 1867 vs. 330) of the winner,

-          Had close to 2 times  (21% vs. 12%) more passive voice,

-          Contained 6 times longer sentences. (long sentences > 25 words.)

We scanned the exec summaries using VisibleThread.

Let’s dive deeper

Here’s a few extracts from the exec summary of the 2^nd placed, losing submission:

“It would be our privilege to be selected to provide administrative services for the City of Albuquerque’s (the City’s) COBRA (Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act) and Flexible Spending Account (FSA) Program.”

“Fringe Benefits Management Company (FBMC) has carefully reviewed the Request for Proposal (RFP), subsequent addendum, Appendices, Draft Agreement, Scope of Work and Instructions to Offerors and can complete the services set forth herein within the proposed time limits, to the complete satisfaction of the City.”

“Enclosed in our proposal, we have outlined a scalable method of performance to ensure that all deliverables are met for the City’s with ultimate satisfaction as the primary goal.”

I hope I don’t have to convince you why these examples are so awful. A good edit would have fixed it.

A special note on passive voice

Passive is where subject precedes verb. In the opening example, we see: ‘…we have outlined a scalable method of performance to ensure that all deliverables are met’. In this case the subject is ‘scalable method of performance’. It appears before ‘met’.

Active voice is stronger. Better to rephrase as; ‘we will meet all deliverables using a scalable method of performance’.

But wait a sec! What the heck does ‘scalable method of performance’ even mean? Now, I’m a fairly techie person with a 3^rd level qualification and plenty of project management. But, I’ve no clue what that means.

Tip: Passive voice often masks marketing claptrap! If you can’t understand it, how will the reviewer? Be ruthless, just remove it. It does nothing for your case.

Does language alone account for the loss?

Now we’re not saying that language alone accounts for a losing bid. Other factors including incumbency, pricing etc. obviously play a part. But when it’s a close call, you don’t want to be the guy with the non-ironed shirt. That’s how it was in this case.

The top two proposals had practically identical reviewer scores. We looked at the formal scorecard. Here are the top 4 scores in order:

The winner scored 4845, the loser 4835, a mere 10 marks difference. The vendor who came in 3^rd position scored 3790, so it wasn’t even close. When you compete for Fed, State or Local dollars and you are neck and neck with your competitors, then a tightly written response puts you ahead.

Interpreting the 5 stats, what should you do?

1. Size:  The winner is almost 6 times shorter than the loser. 330 words versus 1867 words. Be ruthless on reducing word count. Split the sentences
2. Number of sentences: The winner is half the nearest loser. Do not try to pack the ‘kitchen sink’.
3. Average sentence length was an excessive 21 words for the loser. This is over 2 times that of the winner. Aim for 10-15 words for your average sentence.
4. Passive Voice: Passive is where subject precedes verb. In the opening example, we saw: ‘…we have outlined a scalable method of performance to ensure that all deliverables are met’. Active voice is stronger. So better to rephrase as: ‘we will ensure all deliverables are met using a scalable method of performance’. As we saw earlier, passive voice often masks marketing claptrap! If so, be ruthless, just remove it. It does nothing for your case.
5. Readability (Flesch): Of the 5 metrics, this is probably the most technical. This is based on the Flesch Reading Ease index, a formula based on average syllables per word and long sentences.  For example, Florida requires that life insurance policies have a Flesch Reading Ease score of 45 or greater. For proposal executive summaries, aim to score at least above 40, higher the better. For example, this blog post scores 53 when run through VisibleThread.

Note: Here are the scoring levels for Flesch Readability:

90.0–100.0          easily understood by an average 11-year-old student

60.0–70.0             easily understood by 13- to 15-year-old students

0.0–30.0               best understood by university graduates

Summary

1. All things being equal, this exec summary damaged the 2^nd placed FBMC proposal. To submit an exec summary like this is akin to walking into the interview with a non-ironed shirt! It may not eliminate you, but you don’t do yourself any favors.
2. In our work analyzing proposals, we continue to see waffle, and ‘kitchen sink’ style exec summaries. You should scrub the rubbish and articulate your value proposition using succinct language.
3. Key takeaways; cut the word count, shorten your sentences and make your exec summary punchy with active voice.

I hope the post will help you win more. What do you think? Agree?

Let me know in the comments.

============

If you want to see how we scan documents, check out these 3-minute demos to get a good sense.

Now, here is an extract from a recent e-mail I received from Kevin Plexico, VP at Deltek.

“We had 1,775 uses across 1,188 users.  There were 33 users who used it more than 5 times in the month. It was used on 943 unique opportunities, so clearly used across a broad spectrum of our opportunities.”

These are usage statistics for a new starter compliance matrix capability introduced into GovWinIQ on June 6th this year. These stats cover a 30 day period between June and July. That starter compliance matrix is actually powered by VisibleThread using an API (Application Programming Interface) into our language analysis engine.

So, as a follow-up to my original post on a starter matrix in under 10 minutes, I wanted to share additional research on this area and provide actual usage statistics since going live with the capability in June. We now see proposal professionals gaining daily advantage through this new automated capability.

If you’re dealing with compliance matrices and want to get a head-start with your own compliance matrix efforts, this will be of interest.

What is a Compliance Matrix?

It’s a basic question, but useful to set context.

For Proposal Professionals, creating a good Compliance Matrix is a critical first step when developing a winning proposal. The matrix is basically a spread sheet that companies use to ensure all the requirements in an RFP are satisfied in a proposal. It is typically hand-generated by someone manually reviewing each page of the RFP, examining it for any requirements. It is a time-consuming process.

More Research on what happens today and why we partnered with Deltek.

I already had the benefit of seeing first-hand how VisibleThread customers were saving many hours by automating the generation process. After all, 3 of the 5 top US Gov Contractors use the capability. Our smaller customers equally see big time savings.

Deltek has 15,000 customers world-wide and specialises in supporting government contractors through its ERP and general product range. So, the idea of generating a starter compliance matrix had much appeal for our friends at Deltek too.

So, we started working with Kevin Plexico and the guys at Deltek in January 2012. We wanted to explore the idea of exposing the capability to Deltek GovWIn IQ customers. Would it offer value?

We first met a number of joint customers and specifically heard how VisibleThread customers such as Buchanan and Edwards were automatically generating a first pass compliance matrix in minutes, savings days of effort.

We also conducted a survey in March, 2012 with subscribers of deltek’s GovWinIQ product. We asked two questions in that survey.

Question 1: What are people doing today to create a compliance matrix?

Answer: 91% (52 of the 57 respondents) are manually creating the matrix by hand.

Here the more granular results:

Question 2: Was the automated solution we had in mind going to add value?

We provided a sample generated starter compliance matrix for two different government solicitations; CTS and TAASC II. We asked respondents to rate whether the sample matrices were useful on a scale of 1 to 5.

5 is best, 1 worst.

Answer: 63% (42% very helpful + 21% helpful) viewed the matrix as either very helpful or helpful.

Here is the detail:

So, this validation was comprehensive and led Deltek and VisibleThread to announce a strategic agreement on May 9th. We exposed the new capability powered by VisibleThread to GovWinIQ customers on June 6^ththis year.

What do you get when you generate the matrix?

Here is a sample compliance matrix generated from our integration into GovWinIQ:

Usage Statistics since going live in June

If we look at our logs over the last 32 days (between July 7^th thru August 10th), these are the results for the number of calls to generate a ‘starter compliance matrix’.

You can see a fairly consistent usage. The first row of data below the graph shows the day number. The 2^nd row shows the actual number of API calls. Each API call results in 1 or more starter matrices returned to the user.

You may be wondering why the dips? These low points correspond with weekends. So we’re running at a daily rate of about 50 calls for week days, Monday thru Friday. Each call may be a request to generate more than 1 document.

So, this means that each day, GovWin IQ customers generate well in excess of 50 starter matrices using the VisibleThread capability.

Summary Takeaways

I will leave you with some of my own summary observations:

• We started out feeling that a starter compliance matrix would add a lot of value. This is why VisibleThread and Deltek started exploring this area. We both wanted to validate if this was a fair assumption by asking customers using actual generated matrices.
• 63% of customers considered it to be very helpful or helpful. The usage statistics since going live show a pattern of at least 50 matrices generated each day.
• The business benefit of generating a starter compliance matrix is clear for many government contractors.

If you want to see how we scan documents and offer value for Capture and Proposal professionals, check out these 3-minute demos.

Register: http://more.govwin.com/forms/NAISVisibleThreadWebinarREGFedG

When a government agency releases a solicitation, you can sense the impending workload for proposal professionals. The first leg in that process is the critical but time-consuming step of creating a Compliance Matrix. This step alone can take hours if not days.

VisibleThread and Deltek have formed a partnership that will shave hours of work out of the tedious process of creating a first pass Compliance Matrix.

As part of this new partnership, Deltek and VisibleThread will bring to market a new feature for professionals who use Deltek’s GovWin IQ solutions. This new capability automates the initial scan of requirements directly from issued documents and generates a ‘starter’ Compliance Matrix capturing the explicit government requirements.

Join Deltek and VisibleThread in this webinar to learn:

• Why Compliance Matrix documents are an essential part of your capture and proposal efforts and help you
• Qualify an opportunity and determine your gaps vs. the requirements
• Jump start the process of preparing a Compliance Matrix by extracting in seconds the essential requirements from the government’s solicitation documents
• How Deltek and VisibleThread’s new partnership can help jump start the process of creating a Compliance Matrix
• To see the results of scanning a sample of recent solicitations ranging from RFPs to Task Orders
• How VisibleThread solutions can help companies improve the quality of their proposals and drive efficiency in the proposal review process.

When:

Jun 6, 2012 2:00 PM - 2:45 PM (EST)

Presenters:

Kevin Plexico, Vice President, Federal Information Solutions for Deltek will be joined by Fergal McGovern, CEO of VisibleThread to show how both Deltek and VisibleThread can help jumpstart your proposal development.

TO REGISTER:

http://more.govwin.com/forms/NAISVisibleThreadWebinarREGFedG

Drop by our booth to see why 3 of the top 5 US government contractors use VisibleThread.

We’ll crunch through some recent solicitations. We’ll show you some sample RFP responses and how they can be scanned in seconds revealing quality issues. We’ll look at generating a starter compliance matrix in seconds and show how you can be more responsive.

The result: dramatic time savings and winning bids.

Don’t forget to join us for the VisibleThread “Choose your Words Wisely” happy hour at the draft media sports lounge on Wednesday evening between 6 and 8. Fergal and Jeff will be on hand to chat with all our friends.

…and, we will even buy you a drink!

WHERE:

Sheraton Hotel, 400 North Olive Street, Dallas, TX

TO REGISTER:

https://apmp.site-ym.com/events/attendees.asp?id=165221