VisibleThread CEO to Discuss “Bad Language” at National Capital Area APMP Conference

Fergal McGovern

CEO & Founder

2 min read

October 11, 2011 Session to Provide Government and Commercial Attendees real-world Insights into Proposal Language that Weakens Credibility and Damages Response

Baltimore, MD—September 27, 2011— VisibleThread, the NO BAD LANGUAGE company, today announced that company founder and CEO Fergal McGovern will speak at the upcoming National Capital Area (NCA) Association of Proposal Management Professionals (APMP) Conference & Expo taking place on Tuesday, October 11, 2011 from 7:30 AM – 6:00 PM.

Mr. McGovern’s session “Which Words Kill Your Best Proposal?” takes place from 3:20 – 4:20 p.m.

In addition, conference attendees are invited to join VisibleThread at its booth to meet with company experts. Attendees can learn more about how leading government contractors are using the company’s software to scan RFP responses and ensure winning bids.


“Which Words Kill Your Best Proposal?” Weak language and clichés can be the death knell for any proposal. Bid and proposal teams need to be aware of language that weakens credibility, raises legal questions or affects the solution delivery. In this session, Mr. McGovern will share examples of poor proposal language seen in 5 different bids. Based on his work to date, he will also share techniques for ensuring consistent ‘win themes’ are maintained throughout a proposal response.

Key topics include:

  • Credibility: Non-committal language, trite statements and negative sentiment
  • Liability: Legal implications and over-commitment in statements
  • Deliverability: Non-verifiable statements
  • Plain Language: The value of tight sentence length


During 2011, Fergal McGovern has been focused on fighting ‘BAD LANGUAGE’, helping government integrators cleanse and ‘de-risk’ proposal response documentation.  Using software he originally created for identifying risk in IT specifications, he is making the tedious quality review tasks more automated.

Mr. McGovern’s original background is large scale IT systems development. The solutions for automated document scanning created by his company VisibleThread are increasingly in use for red-flagging bid responses, ‘de-risking’ contracts, high lighting compliance issues, aiding review teams and identifying bid loss characteristics.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011 from 3:20 – 4:20 p.m.


Waterford at Springfield, 6715 Commerce Street, Springfield, VA 22150


VisibleThread develops document content analysis software that identifies defects and streamlines document compliance. The company’s analysis software enables users to scan MS Office and PDF docs for liability concerns, automatically create compliance documents, coordinate and track changes from multiple stakeholders, and provide oversight throughout proposal development and IT delivery projects.

Today the company offers VisibleThread for contract specialists, capture managers, proposal response teams, legal reviewers and IT development teams. The identification of compliance, legal, and delivery concerns through automated scans enables proposal response teams to improve efficiency and increase their probability of winning government and commercial contracts. 


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