How readable is your proposal? Readability metrics that improve proposal quality - February 8th, 2012, by Fergal
TweetLarry Newman of Shipley posted this example of poor writing the other day. It was part of a very active discussion thread about overused clichés on the APMP linkedin group:
“To ensure optimum delivery of services for its membership, Mini Healthcare of Elbonia will leverage the administrative and legal structure of its parent company, Maxi Healthcare, Inc. to administer a cost-effective combination of local plan operations and shared corporate resources that ensure a person-centered, outcomes-focused approach to delivering managed care services.”
It was taken from a proposal he was reviewing (actual names removed). You should take a look at the entire thread; it has a lot of good stuff around clichés. As author of the Shipley proposal guide, Larry is extremely well qualified on the subject of ‘trash talk’ in proposals. (more…)
Comments (3)Which words are (still) killing your best proposals? - December 29th, 2011, by Fergal
TweetWinning bids contain clear, concise language. They are easy to review, they are credible. Credibility comes in many forms. One of the easiest ways to sabotage an otherwise strong bid is to use wordy language, peppered with clichés and trite phrases.
During 2011, we used VisibleThread to scan more than 120 separate bids (yes, we’ve been counting). The scanned bids included RFPs (Request for Proposal), Task Orders and commercial RFIs (Request for Information). We scanned bid responses from some of the largest integrators around the beltway, and smaller 8A companies too. (more…)
Comments (2)One year on – Plain Language Issues persist in Gov. websites despite Plain Writing Act - October 10th, 2011, by Fergal
TweetThis week marks the first anniversary of the US Plain Writing Act on October 13th. The act is all about clear and transparent communications. Given the anniversary, it’s useful to check how agency websites are complying.
So, last week, on October 3rd we scanned 31 federal agency websites with VisibleThread. The scans revealed some agencies doing really well, others remain challenged.
We plan to publish the full results soon. I wanted to share in this blog post some initial findings. These are items that caught our eye as we reviewed the scans. We hope these will be helpful for US federal agencies looking to comply with the Plain Writing act of 2010. (more…)
Comments Off
